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Displaying all 10 Forum Posts for the Thread:

Arranging Marriage, Is It Really All That Bad?

2010-05-22 09:45 PM

HilaryK
Denton, TX
Posts: 39

Should a marriage be centered around love, freedom and choice, or arrangement by immediate family? I could see the arguement either way...

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Reality-of-Arranged-Marriages&id=606

Might make you think about it at least...

2010-05-23 07:20 AM

MrWonder
Medium City, TX
Posts: 226

Arranged marriages can be a good thing. Think about it.

Let's say you're a 50 year old man who has lived and worked around men and women for 30 years.

And then let's say there is a 20 year old boy, pumped full of hormones and adrenalin and knows little about women.

Who is more qualified to make the best choice of a lifetime mate for the boy, or young man, if you prefer?

2010-05-24 06:51 PM

Zach F
Denton, TX
Posts: 119

I would still say the boy. I think you can live with someone for 30 years and you still won't truely know them. The elder's advice should not fall on deaf ears though, but the choice of who you spend your life with should be your own.

What if the 50 year old man decided to pair the boy up with another boy?

2010-05-24 07:04 PM

MrWonder
Medium City, TX
Posts: 226

If the 50 year old man went to the trouble to have his own son through his own wife, I would think the odds are extremely hight the old man knows better.

2010-05-25 01:24 PM

Zach F
Denton, TX
Posts: 119

So the 50 year old would be right in saying it?

2010-05-25 04:17 PM

MrWonder
Medium City, TX
Posts: 226

I seriously think the average 50 year has more good judgment than the average 20 year old.

However, if there WERE arranged marriages in this country, I have no doubt that the wise 50 year old would look for input from his 20 year old son. I highly doubt a father who loves his son would saddle him with a choice of a wife that the son would just despise. Wouldn't your Dad want your input? Wouldn't you value your Dad's advice?

If not, I pity you.

2010-05-25 05:20 PM

Zach F
Denton, TX
Posts: 119

I know a few people whos dad is absolute trash. It is very sad. I was fortunate enough to be very close to my father. He has been the most important influence in my life. While our views different greatly, he always taught me to evaluate everything. Always seek answers and think for yourself. If he were alive today, it would be very important for me have his approval in whatever woman I choose to marry.

However, when I think of arranged marriages, I think of the more easternly version of the practice, where children of different familes are paired together for marriage some 15 years later when they reach of age. I'm not sure if that is the most common form of the practice, but that is the connotation it has always seemed to carry with me.

2010-05-25 06:42 PM

MrWonder
Medium City, TX
Posts: 226

Well Zach, I don't think the West is going to jump into arranged marriages anytime soon, but I do think the wisest young men and wisest young women seek their parents approval about who they are considering marrying.

Yes, there are some adult idiots, but I believe the average young person would be far ahead to seek their parents blessing of whom they marry. I know a young man and a young woman I could have saved some grief, but they weren't inclined to listen and they suffered and learned the hard way. Experience is the most difficult teacher, but usually the most effective, unfortunately.

2010-05-25 08:43 PM

ChristyR
Denton, TX
Posts: 197

I think the reason older people tend to be more wise is because they have had the oppurtunity to learn from their own mistakes.

Taking those choices away from people takes away that oppurtunity.

2010-05-27 02:11 PM

MrWonder
Medium City, TX
Posts: 226

The knowledge of good and evil comes with a high price tag...